New year, new blog (in theory)

Haha yeah so that whole "post every day" thing didn't really happen.

But now it's 2015, and good things WILL be happening, I'm sure of it. Stick around, who knows what's ahead.

Nail Art - Fall Fashion Inspired

Lookin pretty cozy

So I came across these flannel patterned nails yesterday, and I just had to give them a shot. Amazingly, they came out way better than I expected! Of course they don't look as good as the original from Chalkboard Nails (AND she freehand painted the black??? I just used a Sharpie for the design) but I'm really pleased with the result.

And here's the other hand including a random swipe of polish on my palm

I think if I'm going to be doing more nail art posts I need to figure out a better photo method, because these are rather poor quality. Here's my adorable face to make up for it.

WHAT A CUTIE

Goooooooaaaaaaaaallllllll

No, this is not my selfie for today.

Behold, my to-do list from today.

More and more I'm discovering how important lists are to me. I'm simply so much more likely to get multiple things done if I write them down. Part of it may be the feeling of satisfaction that comes from getting to physically cross something off, but I'll also admit that transferring a mental objective to paper helps make it real. And I always feel better with even just the illusion of a plan of attack (it's an illusion because I so rarely actually do things in the order in which I plan to, ha). 

It's a double-edged sword, though, because now I almost feel like I can't do anything without making a list in advance, and I end up putting off doing so indefinitely. It occurs to me that the last thing on the above schedule should have been "Make list for tomorrow."

But back to today's list. Observant readers will notice that although I didn't accomplish everything, a good portion of those bullet points ended up with a line through them. (I feel I should point out that although it's kind of hard to tell in the picture, "shower" is in fact crossed out. Just in case anyone was worried about my bathing habits.) Honestly, I'm pretty pleased with how I did. Recently most of my to-do lists have looked the same at the end of the day as they did when I woke up, so this is definitely progress.

The key item today I listed as "Goals (and plan for reaching them)." Like I said, lists are crucial for me to accomplish anything. I wanted to identify two or three immediate, attainable goals on which to focus for the next few weeks, and this is what I came up with:

1. Healthy Body - I've known for a while that I haven't been taking care of myself all that well. I haven't exercised in probably close to a year, but I've lost weight simply because I don't eat enough all too often. I've even started to seriously worry I might be anemic, because I've been experiencing symptoms in the last few weeks that seem to point in that direction. So step one is to see a doctor for a physical. This is actually more difficult than it first seems because I currently live 11 hours away from the GP I've seen in the past. Hopefully, though, I can get an appointment sometime this week. Depending on how that goes, I thought it might also be a good idea to see a nutritionist to get some strategies on making sure I'm eating right. For now I'm trying to plan my meals for the week ahead of time so that I have a better chance of getting three solid meals a day (with some healthy snacks, too). As far as exercise goes, yoga every morning combined with three workouts a week sounded like a good start.

2. Job - Not only do I need to start earning money again, I need something that will get me off my ass and out of my head (and my apartment). I plan to find 5 jobs to apply to to start, and fill out one application every day this week. Starting probably Wednesday, I will go in person to the potential jobs to introduce myself and learn more about the jobs. 

Not a bad start, in my opinion. I'll keep track of my progress here on the blog, so we'll see how well I maintain today's surprising productivity. In the meantime I've got some exciting posts planned, including some really awesome nail art I can't wait to share tomorrow! I leave you with today's selfie:

How did my hair get so fluffy #whobutgodcouldknow

I had all these thoughts for today but now it's late and my brain is tired and my phone is dead so Photobooth and awkward lighting will have to do.

Bleghhhh

Snow, snow, snow, snow, SNOW*

Because I live in the frozen wasteland known as the Midwest, today's selfie is actually a SNOWFIE! I didn't feel like venturing too far outside just for a picture, so this is taken from the second story breezeway of my apartment building and doesn't actually feature that much snow. But rest assured, there was plenty of it! FIVE WHOLE INCHES in fact. I had a lovely morning curled up on the couch in my pajamas with a mug of tea and a croissant. And, since Starbucks holiday drinks are buy one get one free through Sunday, I spent the afternoon curled up on the couch in a snuggly sweater with a Chestnut Praline Latte and a croissant. Winter is coming, and I AM SO EXCITED.

*Note: the title of this post should be sung like this: White Christmas "Snow"

Take 2 (ish)

[Author's Note: Although this is being posted on 11/13, I started writing this post on the 12th and am counting it as yesterday's entry (so there will be another post later tonight). Because it's my blog and I can do what I want.]

At some point towards the end of the summer this year I was struck by an entirely unexpected urge to snap some selfies. Although I don't recall the exact circumstances, it was most likely prompted by a combination of my desire to expand the number of decent pictures of myself* and the hella cute outfit I had pulled together that day. So, naturally, I grabbed my cell phone, flipped to the front-facing camera, and promptly discovered that I am absolutely horrible at taking selfies. I was utterly unprepared for the skill level required to achieve a decent selfie. After half an hour, six different lighting/location changes, and countless facial expressions, I found myself humbled, but, ultimately, feeling alright about the final product (see below).

Motivated both by my success and the sheer number of failed attempts I needed to achieve it, I had the idea to undertake a new project: one selfie a day, for an entire year. Brilliant! It would be a fun way to document a year of my life and boost my self-image, all while improving my selfie-taking skills. And I admit, the thought that such a project might help motivate me to put actual effort into my appearance every day also occurred to me.

Sadly, The Great Selfie Project 2k14 didn't exactly get off the ground. I did take a few shots the next day, but after about four tries with lackluster results I basically gave up for the day and never picked back up.

(I should probably go ahead and let you know right now that this will probably be a fairly persistent theme throughout this whole blog endeavor. "I THOUGHT OF THIS GREAT THING but then I never did the thing oh well.")

Since then, I've (sort of) moved out on my own, started classes, dropped out of classes, failed to find a job, and basically fallen short of every single goal I've set for myself, all while desperately pretending everything is fine to my friends and family. I'm a mess, and I know it, but I don't know how to stop being a mess. (Luckily, or maybe unluckily, I'm very good at faking it.) Somehow, I've decided on this blog as the first step towards a solution. My goal is to post once a day, every day, even if it's just a selfie. Hopefully, most days will consist of more than that, although who knows how often I'll manage actual paragraphs. For now I'm aiming for at least one long post a week. I'll probably set specific topics for certain days as well, such as weekly nail art, updates on my embroidery project, and something intellectual or educational.

There's every chance that this blog will turn out exactly like all my other attempts to cope with my depression and fail spectacularly. But I'm trying, because something's got to give and maybe this will help.

So, here goes take 2 of Catherine's Attempts to Cope with Her Depression! (It's not really take 2. I have no idea how many times I've tried to Start Anew, but I like thinking of each new try as take 2 and everything before it as take 1. IDK, it's symbolic or something.) And to kick things off, here's my first official selfie of the blog:

Bonus: Some of the other, earlier pictures from The Great Selfie Project 2k14 before I took one with which I was satisfied:

*Or, really, pictures, period. A cursory glance through Facebook reveals a truly low quantity from the last two years in particular. It never really bothered me until I thought about being older and not being able to remember what I was like at this time in my life.